A final thought

I am sitting in the same lounge I arrived in three months ago to the day in Hong Kong. The person I was before is no more and the person I am, has become. In the end, I feel, we are all in a state of becoming and this makes each moment worth savoring. It is easy to forget when life is difficult or we are doing something we don't enjoy. In these times we may look back at events that made us happy and say "if only I was there..." or "If only I had that again..." I know for myself that I have spent a lot of time throughout my life looking back with regret or forward with anticipation. I feel now that this robs the moment of what it has to offer me, right now.

I write this for myself most of all. I hope to inspire myself when I become sluggish in routine, anxious in tense moments and generally forget to live life as it is. I want to remind myself of something that carried me through happy days throughout Asia. "Sabai, sabai." The thai's say this very often and it has the effect of "everything in it's time." It simply means "ok, ok," but it is said with a cheerful manner that reminds the speaker and listener that nothing can truly be planned or perfect.

I spent the last 5 days of my trip on the island of Koh Chang. I told people i was going there to enjoy the sun and swim in the surf. Tell-tale events developed on my way down that proved I was wrong. Clouds rolled in and by the time I was on the ferry we were caught up in a heavy rain. The rain let up for about an hour, which was enough time for me to rent a motorcycle and make it to the far south west tip of the island. I wanted to get as far away from tourists as possible and simply enjoy my seclusion with the friendly Thai's I had come to love so much. When the rain started again it would end up lasting 4 days.

A record breaking monsoon hit my cliff side cottage nearly incessantly for 4 straight days. The hammock and 180* view of the ocean were rarely available. On that first night there I said to myself, "Sabai, sabai." As things unfolded I ended up reading some amazing books and writing what I consider to be some of my best writing. The few times the rain stopped I would rush outside into the wind to sit in my hammock and soak up the view. I cherished these moments as much as I cherished the time I spent alone with my thoughts. I feel if I had stuck rigidly to a "plan" then I would have found myself very disappointed.

This brought me to the thought that plans are good things, as long as I don't attach to the outcome. Do the best I can with what I have and accept that which transpires. This little sentence may seem trite but to me it has become a guiding light, as well as a good remedy to worry and stress. :-) I shall certainly see how it stand up to the western view of life as well.

The only other advise I have to myself is this :Listen, listen, listen. I can't stress enough how much I have learned by closing my mouth and opening my mind and ears. I would often say something off-handedly to a fellow traveler about local customs or dialects. I assumed they would laugh with me in comradery at the same experience. Instead I saw faces filled with astonishment and was often asked, "really? I never knew. How did you find that out?" So I admonish myself to listen as much as I'm able. Since I know myself well I will also put in an admonishment to be patient with myself. I am a talker after all. :-P

There are a million little stories I could write down about this trip and some i have. But I feel the most important story is the one I'm living. These experiences only have an affect (effect?) on me if I let the knowledge I've gained come out. How I was in Thailand or Veitnam matters very little compared to how I am this very moment. I could tell stories all day but they would be very pale if they had never truly grasped ahold of me. So, a final thought to myself in years to come:

Be who you are, always. Have compassion for all of the sentient creatures of this earth. Be sympathetic with others suffering. Share your love of life with all those around you. Be the person you respect. Don't forget to say "thank you."

Sabai, Sabai
Adam